Leading Edge . . . Helping You Move toward Private Practice through Contracting

Photo Credit: Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash

A Pandemic and a Coaching Class

The 2019-20 Leading Edge Coaching class has experienced an eventful year! Who could have known that a pandemic would through everyone into telehealth? Doing therapy, coaching, and consulting through Zoom meetings, while not catastrophically different, provided challenges that we all had to navigate. For some, their plans changed dramatically due to the pandemic. For others, it merely put a “hold” on their action plans until the pandemic abated. This “black swan” event led to us continuing our Leading Edge Coaching class into 2020 without adding any new trainees.

This year also highlights some of the advantages of contracts. While my partners and I tried to figure out if insurance was going to pay for telehealth, saw the referral sources shut down for non-essential care, and were challenged to figure out policies and procedures to protect staff, clients, and our families . . . my contracting was largely unaffected. Sure coaching sessions moved to Zoom . . . but other than that there was no change.

Granted, I was fortunate enough that my current contracts were all in essential services — manufacturing, utilities, health services, non-profits. Consultants providing services to industries that were shut down may not have been so fortunate. As it turned out, the traditional private practice continued to flourish through the pandemic as well but there was some temporary uncertainty and this is where the contracting provides a nice counter-balance to that stress.

With our 2019 class scheduled to complete Leading Edge by the end of the year, we will, once again, be adding a few trainees in 2021. For those unfamiliar with what Leading Edge is . . . let me recount our history in becoming private practice contractors and consultants. Then I will describe our Leading Edge process.

A Little Background (for those who need it)

For those new to HSC—and the concept of contracting, coaching and consulting as part of a behavioral health practice —below is a brief history of our journey . . . .

We have been training students and professionals to work with organizations and businesses —through private practice contracting, coaching, and consulting—since 2006. In 2019, we will be using our proprietary developed workflow (developed for the Trello platform) to work with our coaching class. This is the next step in our ability to help behavioral health professionals diversify their services and escape the dependence on insurance and governmental sources of income.. .

Her's a quick history of training behavioral and mental health professionals to work with organizations and businesses.

• 1998: As part of a class on Qualitative Research, Bryan and a colleague started—as part of a university class— a consulting contact with an international manufacturing company. Supported by a couple of our professors originally, the contract would be repeated in 2000 and in total cover 4 years. We were learning and HSC was off and running!

• 1999: Bryan starts working in senior management positions in behavioral health.

• 2002: We repeat the consulting work with the international manufacturing company.

• 2005: Dr. Miller established Human Systems Consulting and HSC begins contracting with organizations.

• 2006: Tasked to teach a doctoral-level course on Consulting with Larger Organizations. Continued until 2016.

• 2008: Conducted local trainings for behavioral health professionals on consulting and coaching.

• 2011:  At the continued urging of the students and colleagues, published Beyond the Couch: Turning your behavioral health degree into cash without losing your soul. (By the way, our Gumroad store sells this for $7.99 a huge savings over Amazon at $24.95!)

• 2015: Published Engaging Your Team: A framework for leading difficult people.

• 2016: Published Private Practice through Contracting: A path away from insurance dependency! (Our most popular title since it’s publication) Began one-on-one coaching with professionals seeking to replicate the contracting, coaching, and consulting of HSC.

• 2017: Presented our model in a day-long institute at the AAMFT national conference in Atlanta, Georgia.

• 2017: Training professionals in a 6 hour workshop as part of the ICET conference in Louisville, Ky.

• 2018: Re-tooled our Trello-based tool and coaching process—Leading Edge Coaching

• Began Leading Edge Coaching for remote professionals wanting to add contracting, coaching, and consulting to their practice.

What is Leading Edge Coaching?

Leading Edge Coaching is one-on-one guidance from Dr. Miller to create and execute a plan to develop your own contracting, coaching, and consulting services. Bryan uses an interactive tool and monthly coaching sessions to help the professional focus their actions, identify a path to contracting, and secure those contracts in a 12-18 month process. The cost is kept down through having monthly meetings and assigning tasks in-between sessions and historically trainees first contract pays more then the entire cost of the training—so we are satisfied that it is a good value to professionals wanting a little mentoring to get started.

To find out more simply email Bryan. There is no cost or obligation and there will never be any pressure . . . just information to help you make the best choice for your own future.

Five of my favorite questions to ask therapists.

If you are a subscriber or a regular reader of our posts, you know that I was trained as a mental health professional turned consultant. You may also know that as well as consulting with organizations . . . I continue the tradition of “giving back” to the profession by training a few helping professionals each year to add contracting and consulting to their product line through our Leading Edge* Coaching.

I each case, the professional and I start by tightly defining what they want their contracting and consulting work to look like. Most have only been practicing for a few years and are just getting started in contracting, so I ask them to respond to five of my favorite questions. These five, listed below, attempt to help them focus on a few critical issues that need to be addressed to make their planning complete and their plan to be rigorous enough to succeed.

Your planning needs to answer these 5 critical questions:

1. What problem am I solving?

2. What resources do I already have?

3. What funds do I need to get started?

4. Who else is doing this?

5. What will I do to "surprise and delight?"

Bryan

A screen shot of one of our Leading Edge Trello boards. We use Trello not only to facilitate our training but to help professionals learn it as a means to maximize their ability to work with organizations using this very robust platform!

A Reminder . . . 

If you are ready to get started now, we can help through our Leading Edge* Coaching. We work one-on-one with you to develop contracting and consulting work. In on-line sessions we guide you through the development of your contracting and consulting business, developing your first contract or to make contracting a more substantial product line for your future. 

Coffee and Talk about Private Practice through Contracting . . . Coming soon!

Coffee & Talk: A free conversation about contracting that will jump start your practice in 2020!

An Opportunity . . .

Professionals who subscribe to our email list have received notice of an opportunity for “Coffee & Talk” we will be starting in January. They are helping pick the optimal dates and times for these 60-90 minute, on-line, chats.

The goal? To help them shorten the learning curve to getting contracts. The talks help to motivate and energize professionals and provide advice that will reduce the effort it takes to get started with contracting and consulting.

Typical Results

For example, the feedback I got from my most recent talk with professionals in the Atlanta area yielded the following results:

"I felt motivated and more focused. I'm encouraged to get started."
"I need to rethink how to use the Services Chart to fine tune my products."
"I just sent a follow up email to a potential customer who took a survey for me."

Joining the Conversation

These specialized talks are only for professionals in the behavioral health sciences. Numbers will be limited, as needed, to insure the ability to actively participate in the Q&A session. Subscribers will have preference, of course, but others may attend if space allows.

Interested parties can get updates through joining our email list (receiving our free eBook Private Practice through Contracting) or through contacting us and indicating your interest in being invited to a Coffee & Talk event.

Our Free eBook.

Disney or Pixar? Believing and Investing in You . . . (r) Career

Photo by Ross Findon on Unsplash

Chasing Past Success . . . Leads to Failure

Do you want to be Disney or Pixar? (Yes, I know that Pixar is, now, once again, Disney. But hang on and you’ll I think you’ll see my point.) What am I implying in this comparison? Simply, that everyone makes a choice to either let the “industry” or the “dream” determine their professional path. There was a time where my view of these two companies was like this:

Disney was, in my view, playing it safe. They tightly controlled access to their products (still do), not allowing them to be readily available, and using “new” releases of their content to resell their most successful products, or they remake the popular products (over and over) to create new revenues—and for a time, created little new and interesting products. From a business viewpoint, leveraging their past successes was working—to some degree. But they seemed unaware of the losses they were experiencing through this operational stagnation—the “opportunity costs” of not growing and not capturing new markets. They were stagnant.These costs were exposed when employees left and created Pixar.

Pixar, comprised of employees who left Disney, on the other hand, believed in telling a great new story. They believed that creating a strong story and allowing their team the creative freedom to design the telling of that story would be compelling to their customers. The leaders wanted to create a more dynamic, supportive, team that would engage in finding new stories worth telling. They left Disney because of the constraints on their vision or creating a new process and new products. They found a new niche that exploded with customers for their products—and Disney, eventually, recognizing their missed opportunity—eventual bought them and brought them back into their company.

Fear. The longer I have been a professional, the more I recognize fear as being a primary roadblock for people in many areas of life. From the “narcissist” who will not admit to making mistakes, doesn’t apologize, and who dominates conversations to avoid feeling vulnerable or out of control to the “codependent” who will not stand up for their own best interests, accommodates to everyone else’s wishes and who may enable destructive behavior around them—fear is often one of the causal factors of this behavior.

I have no doubt that there was fear at Disney. What if we go to the expense of creating a new product and it fails? Better to “play it safe” with what we know works. Too often, leaders cling to the successes of the past and forget that the successes came from forging new paths. Disney, once the vanguard of something new, let the past—their own history within their industry—determine their orientation for the future. In a sense, the industry standard was now defining Disney. Not Pixar. Pixar wanted to reshape the industry. They wanted to return to a time when new stories, well told, and creative presentation would become the standard.

Fear and Change

In this blog, we’ve written about fear regularly, we’ve focused on the problems of management by fear. We’ve talked about the lies that people tell themselves to protect themselves and avoid unwanted fears, We’ve detailed the problems expressed by ego, trust, mistakes, or control. Finally, we talked about fear in transitions in family businesses. Fear is a powerful enemy. For many it promotes the prey mentality . . . “don’t move and maybe you’ll survive” . . . for other’s it promotes action . . . “keep moving or you might become lunch.” The best approach to fear is to recognize it but not let it “drive the bus.” Analyzing when it is an indicator of real threats or when it is just a conditioned response.

Professionals are no different than the leadership at Disney. The average professional is content to let the profession shape their practice. Right now, the losses due to “opportunity costs” are not particularly painful. Professionals can make a good living. Many over the course of their career dream about changes they would like to see in their professional practices (like no weekend or evening work, less paperwork, providingnmore educational groups, going entirely private pay, or offering a new type of service) but lack an understanding of the steps to reach their goals, do not have the proper supports, or are fearful of the perceived risks.

At one time in my career I joined a group of professionals whose goal was to support the work of private practitioners. I didn’t attend long. Why? Because, in my estimation, the group primarily focused on the fears the group members had of making a transition into private pay. I heard a lot of support for members but few “solutions” or guidance on how to get to a private pay model. Frankly, if I would have lived in that community it might have been worth while to continue but I decided the value wa not worth a commitment of half a day to attend (travel, meeting, and return trip). Hopefully, those who stayed got something they needed out of it.

Most professionals, in my experience, “go it alone” or with the support of a small set of colleagues, the support of a practice they join, or a mentor. They are limited by the experience, vision, and yes, even fears, of their circle of supporters. Many would benefit from getting outside their parochial environs and find support from coaches that have successfully traversed the path they want to take. Few will.

Approaching . . . cautiously . . . Changes to your practice

Taking risks by investing in one’s own career is often taken tentatively, if at all, by most professionals. They fearfully stop working weekends or cut back on their evenings. They drop an insurance provider with poor fees. The average practicianer will also, of course, attend trainings that they can see will directly help them in their career—a new technique (EMDR training), method of service delivery (Neurofeedback), or product (coaching)— but exploring the cutting edge of practice, new modalities of practice and the changing landscape of engaging professional services are paths chosen rarely, and only by the few.

So, as an example, the enterprising few have created on-line venues for providing counseling and coaching on-line (see, for example, PSYPACT). An increasing number fo professionals over time follow these explorers by joining and providing the services once the framework has been created. More, perhaps most, may take a “watch and wait” stance to see how new approaches “shake out” in the industry. Still others, wary of the ethical challenges, professional licensing limitations, and potential legal risks will not—unless compelled—engage in any way this new frontier of practice and may even question the motives, ethics, and professionalism of those who do. Yet, at it’s very core, it is a change, either good or bad, that is happening and that is unlikely to be stopped, in my opinion, unless it is addressed through regulation on a national level.

No, a professional should never practice in a way they deem to be unethical, of dubious benefit to clients, or out of their scope of expertise. But . . . that doesn’t mean that professionals have to limit themselves to the constraints of the past either. The profession has always changed and grown. From it’s roots in neurology, to the application of psychological principles in industry, to the application to artificial intelligence, the field will continue to evolve. Professional vision and the opportunities they cease will lead the movement. Will you be in your career? Part of the vanguard, scouting out new territory? Perhaps, preferring the safety of journeying among peers positioning yourself firmly in the group? Or, perhaps, the trailing the pack and holding on to the past territory?

This week, I got an email from a professional who is taking part in our Leading Edge Coaching**. We had to delay our meeting but she noted that she has a new contract and couldn’t wait to tell me about it. Good for her! She is courageously moving toward her preferred future and finding that it is possible.

**Leading Edge Coaching (LEC) is our process to provide specially-tailored coaching to a limited number of professionals who want to add contracting and consulting to their “toolbox” of services. Coaching is a monthly one-on-one with Bryan G. Miller, Ph.D.—with most of the work carried out between coaching sessions to keep the cost minimal. The goal of LEC is to help professionals to get their first contract within 6-9 months or expand their current contracts. Space is limited to protect the quality of the service. For further information or to request a spot in our 2020—or beyond—coaching cohort contact us. We promise that there will never be any pressure and all services are provided on an unconditional money back guarantee.

Blog post . . . leads to sharing . . . surprising an old friend . . . and training!

Photo by Web Hosting on Unsplash

Opportunities . . . to Help . . . sometimes Come from “Strange”. . . or Rather . . . “Stranger” Places

Serendipity. I think that’s what it’s called.

It is always interesting to see how opportunities to help organizations present themselves. Often it is through a direct contact with a leader. But not always . . . sometimes it is through a blog post, and the action of a “stranger” . . . a reader, you have never met, who happens to be connected to someone in your circle . . . as it did this past summer.

Rekindling Friendship

Recently, I was sitting at a mexican restaurant in Missouri, catching up with some high school/college friends. Later, they showed me the recent damage from a tornado and flooding in their town, and I got to be in their home and meet their son. It was a great reunion of old friendship . . . and brought about through the pages of this blog. I’ll explain in a minute . . .

In my years of posting content, I regularly check the analytics to see what readers are interested in reading and how the readers “behave” when they come to the website. Many visitors click on links “About Us” and “Contact Us,” and/or download content, like our free ebooks, but only a minority actually reach out with a comment, question, or inquiry. Most, I suspect, prefer to sit back, glean what they can from the posts and that is good enough—which is fine and one of the reasons to continue posting so that people can benefit from our journey. Thus analytics, in leu of personal contact, becomes the indicator of what you, the reader, want for content in our posting. I admire those confident readers with the courage to reach out— connecting with “thought leaders” or those who have traveled “the road” before them—and I can tell you that the times that I personally have reached out to experts in areas I am interested in, I have universally “walked away” from those contacts feeling encouraged and enlightened. I personally need to do it more. Maybe I’ve just been lucky, but for those who reach out to us I want the experience to be just as helpful and inspiring.

But back to the opportunity raised through the blog post . . .

A Reader, a Coworker . . . and my Friend

So, the friend, the one that I had supper with in Missouri, has been a regular follower of our blog. He has commented at times, sent me notes through LinkedIn or Facebook, and we have stayed loosely connected through the “grapevine” of our mutual contacts, as well as occasional times we were in the same place at the same time.

None the less, I was surprised when this friend, “old friend,” contacted me asking about the possibility of HSC doing some training for the Bureau.. I use the descriptor of “old” because the most significant time we had spent together was over 30 years ago (we had gone to camp together, then junior college, and college, before our paths parting ways).

The most interesting thing to me about this opportunity was—here is where the serendipity is involved—my friend was not the one recommending HSC and promoting us to do the training! One would expect that it was a person contact, like my friend, who might recommend your services as a provider. But, although I guess our personal relationship played some role, he was not the original “spark” that lit the fire.

Serendipity . . . or . . . operating in Reverse

As my friend tells it, he received an email from his boss with one of our posts attached. The post, called “Mistakes . . . Vulnerability . . . and Developing a Good Product,” was sent to the entire division. My friend, contacted his boss and said, “How did you get this? I know the author.” It turns out that a different manager, who was also a reader of our blog had sent the blog post to the boss, suggesting it be sent out to all the employees, which included my friend, and the boss did exactly that—sent it out, prompting the inquiry from my friend. Operating in “reverse” from how opportunities usually develop.

Is this replicable? Probably not. At least not to the degree that an organizations needs to fill it’s “pipeline” of work. But it highlights one very important principle: Do things because you value helping others—not simply because it is good marketing, sales, or produces a billable hour. Recently, I had this conversation with a professional in Atlanta that I am coaching. I reminded her that it is best to focus on helping not getting a signed contract. Why? Well, first of all, you can’t make someone buy something they don’t really want. Secondly, if you are only in it to make money for yourself, then it is likely that you will be frustrated and the client will have a barrier (you) to getting help even if they really want and need it.

Case in point: I once was on a committee to purchase a electronic records system for four agencies. One vendor, had flown into Omaha for a follow up to his original presentation— essentially making the “first cut” and entering “round two",” must have gotten frustrated at not having “sold” us in the first round. During the second presentation he began to complain about having to return a second time—talking about the pressure he was feeling, the hardships of coming back for the second presentation, how his wife didn’t like it, it took him away from his family, etc. This was so off-putting—even to a room of sympathetic therapists—that his product, which going into the presentation was our number two choice, became immediately a “no go.” The sale—ultimately worth over $1 million—was lost . . . because his behavior made is seem that it was about the sale not about helping us get the right fit for our four organizations.

You need to trust that your efforts to help will “come back to you” in expanding the scope of your value and ultimately will lead to work with organizations! This “give it away first” is a common theme in the on-line entrepreneurial world today. But, to me it is just good practice . . . help when and where you can and don’t focus on selling. Trust that if you provide value then opportunities will come.

The Training

A note about training. I love doing training. If done well, it lowers the bar, for employees to learn. It avoids the natural defenses and poor coping skills displayed in trying to intervene in a more direct way. It invites experimenting and play. Yes, ultimately, to make real changes you have work to do, but a good training can often open the door to the willingness to approach the harder work in a positive and healthy way.

For those readers interested in the training details . . . it was delivered in a six hour-workshop format on site. Our training focus is on promoting the actual practice of good teamwork—and this workshop was no different. This is important! Teams need practice. Few teams are significantly impacted by a lecture on teamwork. (see post: Training Should be like Music Lessons)

Attendees engaged in practicing teamwork through attempting tasks such as defusing “bombs” through heightening their communication skills and strengthening their interactional processes. This entertaining process avoids long lectures about what good teamwork is in favor of training the actual skills—much like practicing the piano or guitar—so that teams have an awareness of what it takes to be a productive part of a team and have practiced the skills.

We have done this training several times and in different market segments—with non-profits, groups of professionals, for profits, and this time, would be with a government department. Each team is unique and each group brings different levels of preparedness. All teams, however, benefit from revisiting and training on the skills of effective team work.

Often, problems encountered in teams are due to normal—or abnormal—human actions or behavior but intervening, successfully, in these human systems is complex. What one team members sees as an attempt to help is seen as interference or undermining. Defenses get put up. Blame is passed around. Team members try to decipher who is right/wrong and to whom they owe loyalty. It can become quite a destructive mess—and often all for good reasons of loyalty, protecting, problem solving, etc.

Trainings . . . the HSC way!

To make an impact, HSC training are designed to focus on three things.

• Building on sound research. Bryan, the founder of HSC,, has a background in research and trainings are developed with sound methodology and processes.

• Refining skills in an interactive setting. A team is only as good as the collective team member’s skills.

• Deep understanding of human systems. Simply because a system is more than the sum of it’s parts. Placing all the components of a iPhone in a box doesn’t result in an iPhone.

What effects do our trainings have on work teams? The trainings . . .

1. Raise awareness of the skills needed for high team performance

2. Identify barriers to skill acquisition and achievement.

3. Promote a strengths-based approach to growth

Sometimes our training is part of an overall consulting project (See what we do: Organizational Behavioral Consulting). But at other times it is a stand-alone activity to bolster the functioning of a team.

The greatest value however comes in the providers of the training. A couple of years ago we did part of one of our trainings for a leadership conference. Afterwards, a consultant, who works in the insurance industry, mentioned that they would like to learn to do the training we did that day. I told her that I would be happy to share our resources and support her learning to deliver the training, but what I could not duplicate was the experience of having trainers who have been in leadership positions for 20+ years and who have very advanced training and experience in human systems. This is after all where the real value lies . . . in being able to apply it to real teams.

The very thing that she found most valuable—how the presenters engaged the trainees—was likely to be the exact part missing if the training were replicated. She understood. We shared the resources and she made it a goal of using HSC, and our training, in her future work where needed.

HSC’s limited availability for stand-alone trainings means that we are currently scheduling for next year. Interested parties can check for availability by contacting us.

Available eBooks:

Private Practice through Contracting: Decreasing dependence on insurance.

Engaging Your Team: A framework for managing difficult people.

Family Legacy: Protecting family in family business.

Team Training Needs to be like Music Lessons

My humble set up. Love my Taylor guitar and the discipline of practice and working toward mastery.

Team Training as Music Lessons

If you really want your team training to make a difference . . . fashion them after music lessons . . . not school.

Remember music lessons? You go, have a 30 minute “lesson,” get your assignment, and go home to practice, hopefully daily, some exercise, technique or mastering a piece of music. Similar, but critically different, than the experience of school—at least as I experienced it—where much of the time the focus was on imparting information—through a lecture for example—where the goal was to master content and demonstrate that through regurgitating it on a test. (BTW: I realize that modern didactic approaches are trying to address this singular approach . . . through recognizing different learning styles and more comprehensive teaching processes . . . but let’s allow the simple duality for the same of drawing, what I think is, an important distinction.)

Two Distinct Approaches

Think about the differences in these two approaches . . .

Music Lessons Classroom

Focus is on skill acquisition. Focus on imparting information.

Short, repetitive instruction and daily practice. Lectures, homework and testing.

Narrow focus: scale, song, technique. Broad focus: history, terminology, theory

Emphasis on practice. Emphasis on teaching.

Outcome: improved skills. Outcome: content mastery.

Moving from “School” to “Lessons”

To often, team training is modeled more on a “school” platform instead of a “music lesson” style. I worked for a time for an organization that had an internal “university” for training. Once a month, the managers would get together for training and typically it was some form of “telling us” about something that would help us do our jobs. At best, it was a way to get a break from the daily grind, conduct business during breaks with our colleagues, and impart some . . . some . . . useful information. Many saw it as a “requirement” and generally a waste of time. Did we walk away with new skills? Rarely.

Supervisors and managers are in their positions precisely because they have skills. But that does not mean they have reached mastery. Like a musician or artisan, the skill building process is on-going because every new situation requires the application of skills in a new way. Just like each piece of music is different and the student has to learn how to apply their talent to performing that particular composition.

Practice . . . and Mastery . . . and Superior Performance

Yo-Yo Ma, the world renown cellist, said, “The goal of practicing is to achieve a freedom of the mind that enables one to physically do whatever they want to do. Careful practicing eventually allows one the freedom to be spontaneous, to react onstage to the moment.” I also heard this virtuoso in a live interview once comment that if he missed a day of practice, he would notice. If he missed two days, his teacher would notice. If he missed three days, the audience would notice.

Yo-Yo Ma, Wikipedia

How many leaders dedicate themselves to continuous skill development? How many organizations allow for, or prioritize skill development, as a goal for leaders? In my experience, not many.

Two stand out in my experience. One provided their “point person” to take several weeks each summer for continuous training. Another limited the role of their leader to one primary task in order to have them continue to develop a high degree of skill in that task. In both cases, the results were spectacular. Those two leaders excelled in their roles and it was clear why. The organizational support for their practicing and mastering their talks was remarkable.

Organizations have come to understand the need. They provide coaches, they allow time for continuing education, they promote leadership development. But few, really have a clear focus on creating a “music lesson” mentality and a consistent focus on specific skill development. The well-documented decline in interpersonal skills in the age of social media and virtual relationships among younger cohorts of leaders makes this need an urgent focus for the future of leadership in organizations.

Looking for training that will teach your team real skills? Contact us and we can get you signed up to help your team jump start their skill development.

Buy Engaging Your Team: A framework for leading “difficult” people here, or get it for free by joining our email list!

Old and New . . . A leadership story of attribution errors.

John? Is that you? Photo by Jenny Hill on Unsplash

Are leaders born or made?

Old Guard and New Vanguard

“Newbie,” John thought as he rounded the track and watched Tyler animatedly talk to one after another runner about his “love” of being a runner. He noted Tyler’s Salmon “Ultra Pro” blue and red shoes, neon-green Fitbit, Rockay running socks, Smart Wool running gloves, and matching headband.John looked down at his own clothes . . . dependable Nike shoes, almost five years old, a no-name line of shorts, tee-shirt, and stocking cap. He’d bet that his whole wardrobe, bought at a “big-box store,” maybe with the shoes excepted, cost less than the price Tyler forked over to Smart Wool.

Tyler barely gave John a thought. Oh, John was always there, this 50-somethingish road-ghoul, finishing his morning run with a few final laps and warm-down on the track. John looked, to Tyler, like a burned-out, uninviting, “road warrior” who wasn’t likely to be a source of encouragement or inspiration—simply someone doing what he did, for some unknown, but internally-motivated reason—without a sense of the great synergy of involvement in a broader running community.

Tyler, a 30-ish millennial, who came to running as a pastime last year, could draw a crowd. His animated excitement—whether talking about his observations on running shoes, the latest on Runblogger, or heart rate variability—was palpable and infectious. Other’s attempting to re-engage with a more active life-style or to develop a love of running loved to come along side and listen.

If pushed, John might admit that he held some distain for Tyler. He might have, in his less charitable moments, thought, “We’ll see how long he lasts.” Tyler conversely may also, if his psyche were plumbed, acknowledge that John, to him, was the embodiment of what he did not want his running to become—one more joyless chore he did because it was “good for him.”

Leaders—Old and New

Too often, this is the picture of leadership—where generational differences turn into “attribution errors;” ie; “John is burned out and no longer has a passion for running!” (Really? How will you look after decades of running?), or “Tyler is a flash in the pan, and not serious!” (Were you not excited when you first started?)

I got to watch this play out annually when I was growing up. As the son of the Academic Vice President of a small college (enrollment of 500) I watched wave after wave of new students come to college, young leaders emerge, and the annual tug-of-war—sometimes in minor ways, sometimes in a noisy visible crash—between the generations play out. I also saw, behind the scenes, the dedicated service of the staff, faculty, and leadership as they sought to guide, harness, and lead these energized and idealistic youth into success—with patience and understanding of the “youngster’s needs to find their own way.” At times it wasn’t pretty.

One student, whose passion at the time was an electric guitar—and today, is a retired grandpa—told me about how my Dad was called out of bed at 3 in the morning due to neighbors complaining about the loud rock music blaring from on campus. My father, all 6’3” probably bristling from head to toe—strode into a performance hall, unplugged the speakers, and announced, “Now, do want to clear out this equipment, or do you want me to confiscate it?” The student admits this led to a “dust up” with my Dad, (which he lost and eventually, decided it was prudent to dismantle the equipment himself). I remember the tears in this grandpa’s eyes when, upon my Dad’s death, he commented that it was my Dad, among others, who taught him, how to be a man of integrity. (BTW- Dad was the source of the greatest leadership act I ever witnessed--doing nothing!)

This week, I was back “home” where I grew up. A guy stopped me, introduced himself, and asked who I was. I told him. “Your father and your brother Kirk changed my life,” he told me. Your Dad’s class and your brother’s example as my Resident Assistant in the dorm showed me something I hadn’t experienced before—caring and strength.” I know. Both of them, my Dad and my brother, would not compromise on two things--caring for the person and following their principles. At least where young men were concerned, they knew how to see beyond the behavior and see the person, in context, and with an understanding of what was needed at that time . . . an encouraging word or a kick in the amp.

Lesson for Old or New (Don’t manage by fear or control!)

Maybe somebody has said what I am writing below, or something similar, somewhere . . . but I couldn’t find it on-line. So here is my shot at a “truism” about what happens too often between the old and new leaders (someone should make into a profound and pithy quote).

“We blame those we cannot understand, attributing to them motivations we create, and judging those motivations insufficient, incorrect, or morally deficient; thus, invalidating their right to choose and proclaiming our right to judge.” ~ Bryan Miller

It take great courage, strength, and wisdom to lead when others think you are headed in the wrong direction. It is when the “heat is on” or a crisis manifests itself that leaders are most severely judged—for good or bad. The disagreements may be the result of something as simple as a difference in age, philosophy, learning history, or other factors—like how loud music should be played at 3 am. Creating respect comes through the strength of presenting a caring and principled approach that will, in the long-run, garner the support and the following leaders need to “grow up” new leaders who can maximize their human systems to reach organizational or team goals.

Additional resources:

Lessons Learned Around the World: People-centered leadership. A. Keith Miller, Major, USAF (Ret.)

Engage Your Team: A framework for leading “difficult” people. Bryan G. Miller, Ph.D.

Contact us with questions. Thanks for sharing and commenting!

Congrats to Andrew of AndHeGames!

Congratulations to Andrew Miller of AndHegames on the review of Cloud Dungeon! Andrew, probably due to a years of carefully cultivated paternalistic obligation on my part, acts as our graphic designer/game consultant/social media guru . . . we really should give him a permanent title! Andrew recently participated in our team training using a gaming process and helped give us great feedback on how to make it even more effective.

Despite being my son, he is a man of incredible integrity and talent. If you like family games that lean to the artistic and creative side then I would encourage you to check out the review . . . and all his games at andhegames.com! Right now he is running a summer sale for 25% off.

Good Communication?

Photo by Jon Flobrant on Unsplash

Good Communication?

Vizzini: "Inconceivable!" Inigo: "You keep saying that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

When did you last feel like you really connected with some one as you talked?

Communication. Everyone does it. Largely we manage to get things done and seem to usually reach the same conclusions about what happened. Few, state that they are deficient in this basic skill. Yet, to those whose work is dependent upon communication, the pitfalls are only too obvious.

Consider this, why is it that nurses repeat surgeon's requests? Why do pilots have checklists and get confirmation from copious and air traffic before proceeding? It, obviously, is not a lack of skill or intelligence; no, it is the dependency on communication to be flawless in a critical task. 

Fortunately, just talking to your spouse, your kid, or your employee (maybe they are both relative and employee) isn't critical. Oh, wait . . .

So, here some things to consider . . .

Do they/you . . . Demonstrate these Non-verbals?

• Maintain eye contact
• Nod or use other encouragers
• Have a neutral or positive facial expression
• Avoid distracting behaivors
• Face the speaker and lean slightly toward them
• Incorporate both the speaker and yourself in your comments
• Stay engaged and follow the speaker

Does their speaking include these traits?

• Respectful language (and behavior)
• Asks helpful, clarifying questions
• Keeps comments short to allow listener to follow
• Paraphrases and repeats speaker's points
• Let's speaker complete their thought
• Transitions smoothly from listener to speaker (and vice versa)
• Encourages agreements but able to state their opinions

If these things are happening, it is likely that as the speaker you will feel "heard" and as the listener you will gain greater information and insight!

Engaging Your Team is a free eBook about people. Understanding what makes them "tick" helps in communicating well to your employees, supervisors, and others. Download it free.

Continuing Education: Take Aways from Presenting at a National Conference

Take Aways from Presenting at a National Conference

Getting Started . . .

Just finished presenting "Beyond the Couch: Using MFT skills with Organizations" at the national conference for the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT). The presentation was delivered in a pre-conference, 5 hour, "institute" held in Atlanta at the Marriot Marquis.

This pre-conference institute requires attendees to come a day early, pay an additional $175, occur additional costs of an extra day in training, and be willing to commit from 9-3:30 to this training. We had good turnout with 35-40 attending.

As an educational endeavor, I am listing the learning I got from presenting this institute. Incidentally, If you are a member of our FONS group (a private Facebook group) or a subscriber to my email list then I will give you some more personal insights later that I won't share publicly.

A beautiful day in Atlanta.

Here a some of my take aways . . .

Things I kind of knew that were re-confirmed:

• Therapists are some of the nicest people to have in a presentation
• The interest in working on contract, avoiding the insurance market, and working with organizations is growing
• There is still little, or no, training in masters programs on business skills, contracting, or working with organizations
• There is a strong interest in learning the tools and techniques of developing contracts
• Therapists don't know where to find mentors when it comes to contracting and working with organizations
• Seasoned therapists get requests to help with organizational issues whether they are trained in this area or not

What should I have known, that i learned:

• Teaching people, even highly skilled therapists, how to do contracting takes more than 5 hours
• People are going to be interested in connecting personally with me for support
• I need a plan to capture the contact information of those who show interest in connecting
• People are going to want to buy my book, from me, right there at the conference
• There always is at least one attendee who already has extensive experience as a consultant who is present just to get new ideas
• There are decision makers present, often with funds, that may be looking for ways to enhance their program offerings.

What I still don't know . . . 

• Is it worth losing two days of revenue, paying for the cost of a plane ticket etc., the time to develop the presentation, and paying for the cost of the conference (really? the presenter has to PAY to attend their own presentation?!?!)
• As a corollary, to the point above, will I ever present at the AAMFT conference again?
• Will the institute have an impact? Will there be any follow through for attendees who expressed interest in developing their own contracts and consulting?
• Will the attendees who expressed an interest in coaching, training, connecting, follow through with contacting us?
• Did the institute give attendees enough to go out and develop their first contract?

We are finalizing our 2018 schedule for training, consulting, etc. The next opportunity to get in on learning about contracting and consulting is in the Interactive CE Training (ICET) Dr. Miller will be presenting on-line October 29th. I

To reserve time for a  presentation or coaching, contact Bryan directly.

For those interested, we also have two products to help therapists get started.

Beyond the Couch: Dr. Miller's seminal book on consulting with organizations.

Private Practice through Contracting: an eBook to reduce insurance dependency and help develop contracts as part of a private practice.