Coronovirus (Covid19) Flu, Profit Margins, and Survival

This sign, I think, depicts what I am saying . . . . Closed—but thanks to good practices—not gone. Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

Coronavirus (Covid19)

So the world is facing a new pandemic. It’s all over the news and everyone I know is assessing the risks to the people they love that may be particularly vulnerable. Universities are closing. Healthcare providers are taking employee’s temperatures before allowing them into work. Sports events are taking place with few or no fans in attendance. Some are avoiding going to restaurants, changing vacation plans, or working from home.

Globally, I recently read that in Italy all businesses are shut down with the exception of grocery stores and pharmacies. Imaging that! In my local context, there is a lot of fear, many people working to try and contain and lower the risk, and speculation about the actual size of the threat (here I speak in global terms not individual outcomes which obviously can be catastrophic) which remains unknown—and possible unknowable—as I write..

Local . . . and Global . . . Impact

Even in my small arena and in the smallest businesses that I work with, consideration of the risks and substantial departures from normal operations are taking place in order to cope with this emerging threat. People are asking a lot of questions they did not have to consider only a few weeks ago. What do you do if customers will no longer come to your “brick and mortar” for services? What actions do we need to take to protect employees? What do we do when our sales stop for a time . . . due to the changed behaviors of customers due to this threat?

A Terrible Event . . . and a Business Lesson

However, while trying not to minimize the terribleness of this pandemic, this very public crisis demonstrates the very real need for business to plan for such events. You can’t, for example, provide free services (vaccines for example) if your employees quit because you can’t pay them. Businesses who regularly create a “rainy day fund”—by collecting a profit—are able to continue to provide services even if their revenue stops temporarily. Businesses that don’t do this have to find someone else’s cash (banks, private loans, grants) to survive.

The grim reality—the coronavirus and it’s threat to businesses—frankly reminded me of conversations I regularly had with graduate students in the behavioral health programs. I hope those conversations helped them to be prepared to ride out the turbulence of a crisis like we are facing now.

Business Survival and Profit

Talking to those students about the “business side” of being a health care provider . . . and the role of accounting for the three traditional components of business—operating costs, labor expenses and a profit margin in establishing a fee structure . . . I would ask students, “What exactly is profit?" I could often see these good-hearted students squirm as they struggled with their answer. Every semester these students—most of whom had never had a business class in their academic careers—would answer with some variation of the following . . . “It is adding an amount to your fee because you want to make more money.” Or . . . “It’s deciding the market will pay you more so you raise your fees to make more money.” No and No. The first definition, as students described it, should be labelled “greed.” The second, some form of “price fixing or gouging.”* Adding a profit margin to your fee is neither of these . . . and the present crisis illustrates why.

Businesses who only cover their expenses (operating costs and labor) have no insurance policy for a severe crisis like the coronavirus. Thus, when a crisis hits, these businesses are dependent on an outside entity to rescue them . . . a government bailout, bank loan, or private funds.**

In my own private practice, I have had to weather periods of no cash flow. Most notably when the Affordable Care Act was started. Insurance companies were unable to tell us what copays to collect and were not paying in a timely way. Everyone in my practice survived on the savings (profit) that they had collected and we were able to stay open for the three months we had no revenue coming in. Others, albeit lesser disruptions, include changes in the insurance industry, transitions to electronic medical records, billing department personnel changes, etc.

I genuinely worry about some of my colleagues in health care in this current crisis. During the Affordable Care Act transition, I heard colleagues talking about drawing on their own personal savings, getting short term loans to float their practice, drawing on personal lines of credit . . . or other measures to keep operating.

In the present crisis some, especially those who have believed that charging a profit margin is equivalent to being greedy instead of a means to insure agains risks like the coronavirus, may find themselves in a similar crisis. What will they do if insurance payments cease for 30 to 90 days? If their client load drops significantly for a time?

Maybe they can draw on outside support to survive. Perhaps they’ll get a loan. Maybe the government bailout will be accessible to small business owners. Maybe they will draw on their own personal assets to float the business for a while. I assume most will “get by” somehow. Hopefully not, but it’s likely a few may simply close their practice.

Still, as the old business adage goes, “you can’t operate even one day without cash” so it is my sincere wish that my students and the professionals I have trained and coached have planned ahead . . . building profit margins into their fees, retaining these earnings in their business, and as a result have less fear and angst about the current threat to their livelihood. After all, none of us need more to worry about at a time like this.

Here’s wishing you all the best!

Resources:

Learn more with Bryan’s free eBook: Private Practice through Contracting.

Got a question? Ask Bryan.

* I am not arguing that no one sets fees in this manner, they most certainly do. In fact, I have no doubt that some have become very wealthy in this manner, it is not, however, in my view an ethical way to establish fees.

**Yes, a business can plan ahead by establishing a “line of credit” to borrow against in a time of crisis but you are driving up your operating costs by not planning ahead and saving money in your business to weather a crisis where there is no cash coming in.

Link to Article on Mindfulness at Work

Photo by Nik Shuliahin on Unsplash

Feeling stressed, burnout, or wishing you could avoid work altogether? Your not alone. Or maybe it’s not you, your’re just concerned about a friend. :)

Ran across a good introductory article on mindfulness in the work environment . . . from Go Daddy of all places. Linked to it to share with leaders and consultants I am working with but since it is coming from an “unusual” source . . . not the Harvard Business Review or New York Times, for example . . . I’ll share it here as well.

The article is focused on entrepreneurs but applies to any work environment. I like it because it gives a concise, clear, definition of mindfulness. Explains the benefits of implementing mindfulness, and gives some practical beginner tools to implementing it in your work.

Here’s the link. Hope it helps!

It’s free. Get Bryan’s eBook, Engaging Your Team: A framework for leading “difficult” people.

Be . . . "that guy." . . . or "that gal."

Poor picture . . . but here is the scaffolding in use. Thanks to “that guy” . . . it has worked quite well!

I’m a midwesterner. A . . . pioneer roots, farm-belt, rural . . . small town guy. We don’t interfere with other people’s business. We don’t offer our opinions unless asked. We rely on family, friends, neighbors, community in that order. Ronald Reagan’s comment about the “nine most terrifying words in the english language” sums up the common attitude about government. We expect neighborliness . . . but fiercely resist intuition into private matters. There is more “island” than “commonwealth” in our psyche. We understand a character like Ron Swanson.

A Guy . . . Get’s “Push-y”

This heritage probably explains our love of DIY. This fall, my weekends have been consumed with a project; specifically, with building a 60 x 25’ high tunnel* (also called a “hoop house” or, by the lay person, a “greenhouse.”) This project was made particularly urgent by the delay of the approval for finding (a government grant) due, first, to political turmoil and second, by excessive flooding in my home state. The point is, we did not get started on the high tunnel until september and with the annual threat of an early winter bearing down on us, the race was on.

My “work crew” was myself, my 13 year-old-son, with occasional assistance from my wife, and various other family and friends. In order to ge this done, I allowed myself, uncharacteristically, to a few “helps” like ordering scaffolding to reach the heights of this 14.5 foot structure.

When the scaffolding arrived, I drove to my local Home Depot to pick it up. After “settling up” with the cashier, a young employee helped me take the packages out to my trailer where we were loading it up. We loaded it and began preparing to strap it down, when a voice rang out, “I don’t mean to be ‘that guy',’ but I’ve hauled a lot of scaffolding, and if you bend those cross braces, it will make it a lot harder to set up and use.” I looked up in surprise. He repeated, “I really don’t want to be ‘that guy,” he said, apologetically—hands stretched out, palms up, in supplication—” but I hate to see it be harder for you,” he concluded.

Well, I’m midwestern, and maybe even a little stubborn, but I recognize when a guy is just trying to help. Having no experience with scaffolding, I was also not prone to take offense. So, I thanked him, genuinely, and reassured him that he wasn’t interfering since I have never used scaffolding, and we adjusted the load.

Lesson learned. Right? Simple enough . . . . Be helpful and be willing to accept help! If only it was. We humans have a way of making the simple complex . . . and way more difficult than it really is.

To wit:

A Snow Day in Memphis

When I was young, we moved to Memphis where I attended graduate school. It just so happened that when we moved there the town had it’s worst winter in several decades. Memphis, like much of the south, is not accustom to snow (someone told me the entire city only had two snow plows and both were at the airport) and the city was at a stand still.

For us “northerners” however this was a “god-send” days off from school, we drove around going to empty movie theaters, rescuing stranded motorists, and, frankly, exercising unfair and condescending thoughts about the lack of ability in drivers to handle the snowy conditions. (Everybody needs to feel superior about something, right?)

At one point, I had driven my wife down to an interview with the University of Tennessee, and the supervisor was so surprised my wife showed up that she was sure that it was one reason she got the job. On the way back, I observed a car in front of me that was having great difficulty. It was spinning it’s tires causing the rear end of the car to slide sideways, banging the rear tire against the curb. The driver, then would let off the gas, try “gunning it” again and steering to get away from the curb causing the front of the car to swing and hitting the front tires against the curb.

We watched as the driver alternatively banged his car, back and forth, slowly inching up the street. I worried that as the driver, who appeared to me to be an elderly woman, continued this pattern they would eventually do significant damage to their car’s alignment or worse. Getting up the courage, I checked traffic behind me, swung out and around the car, and excellerated, carefully, to get in front. My thought was to pull over significantly ahead of the car and to render some advice and/or aid.

But as I passed the car, I looked over, and saw, to my surprise, that the driver was not an elderly woman. Instead, the driver was a 30-40 year old man. I thought about the prospects of having this 22 year old “know-it-all” telling him how to drive his car and concluded, right or wrong, that providing assistance would be likely to be met with contempt or worse. I sadly drove on as “bumper-car-ed” his way up the street.

Another time, when a Guy, Me, Decides Helping Isn’t Interfering.

On another day, many years later, the “shoe was on the other foot.” I saw someone, or rather a couple, that I thought needed help. But I wasn’t sure I could offer it.

The couple were both in wheelchairs. They were on a sidewalk outside my office. It was on a late Saturday afternoon and I was the last one leaving the building. The parking lot was empty. My lone care sitting parked awaiting my arrival.

As I walked out, I noticed the couple and something seemed odd. They were both stopped. The man’s chair, which was in front of the woman’s and close to the boundary line of the sidewalk and our parking lot’s drive, seemed to be at a bit of an angle.

I wondered, “Do they need help?” I worried, obviously overcomplicating the situation, that I might make them uncomfortable by “staring” or insulting them by assuming they needed an “able-bodied normal” to assist.But as a walked on, taking furtive glances, I became more convinced that something was amiss. Realizing that no other help was likely in a timely fashion, I made up my mind, changed direction, and approaching them asked, “is everything alright?” It was not.

To put it succinctly, the man’s chair had hit the seam in the concrete and tipped slightly. He was stuck trying to get back into the chair properly. It was a small matter, to help him resituation himself, and get them on their way. The couple expressing thanks for the help and me being relieved that my “overthinking” didn’t cause me to avoid a simple act of rendering a small assistance.

So, Just make up your mind and be “that guy or gal!”

So, just do it. Throw off the fear. Be bold. Risk getting your intentions being misunderstood . . . and help where you think it is needed. Obviously, use good judgement and don’t put yourself in harm’s way but don’t let the reason you don’t hope be simply because of the fears and the feelings.

It Happened Again . . .

Yesterday, I was driving through a local fast food line and it happened again. I was in line, had ordered my lunch, and when I approached the window, the employee told me that the person two cars ahead had paid for my order. It was the second time this had happened at that same drive-through. Someone’s “paying it forward” and isn’t afraid to act. It made the day better.

Don’t be afraid. Make it a better world. Be your best self. Just do it.

Other HSC Resources

Engaging Your Team: A framework for leading "difficult" people.

Lessons Learned Around the World: People-centered leadership,A. Keith Miller, Major, U.S. Airforce (Retired)

Family Legacy: Protecting family in family business.

Private Practice Contracting: A path away from insurance dependency.

Entreprenural Tendrils

DIY’ers at Heart. This fall was spent building our second “hoop house” for my wife’s farm business. Finished it just before the snow started!

Those of you who subscribe or follow our blog know that HSC did not start because of a “grand design” of becoming an entrepreneur. Quite the opposite! HSC because of a desire to help in the aftermath of an industrial accident and continued largely due to the serendipity of finding out that we had a lot to offer to organizations.

In fact, our entrepreneurial path was started, and continued, due to the support of, and learning from, others who were, themselves more prone to the avant guard. So, I find it interesting to find that others in my immediate circle either have always had, or have been encouraged to, the interest in using their gifts in entrepreneurial endeavors.

To encourage your own growth toward entrepreneurial adventure, here are a couple examples of what those in my circle are doing. Both, mind you, from a small village of about 2,000 in rural Nebraska. Enjoy!!

My favorite small farmer (my wife) is offering a give away! Amy grows heirloom tomatoes, etible flowers, and “veg” to sell to local chefs. She also sells a few things (cookbooks, and hand made rolling pins) on line. Right now she is running a “flash give away” of her Coon Creek Herbs. Coon Creek Herbs Give Away!

Here it is . . . Coon Creek Herbs.

Andrew, our graphic designer, continues his game development with the release of The Cloud Dungeon, 2nd Edition and his new Fantas/Tragedy video game: Thistledown. The first, being a follow up to his original paper role-playing game chosen that launched as a successful Kickstarter project and that was chosen as a “Staff Pick” by Kickstarter.

Andrew also approached us with a tantalizing idea . . . and if you are a fan of the hilarious audio program “Cabin Pressure” and the John Finnemore’s Souvenir Programme . . . watch for an update later in 2020.

So, dream big, people! Follow your passions. Use your gifts. Create and thrive. Test the limits of the possible and find that what success is not elusive but probable.

Holiday Season . . . Work . . . Stress . . . and Family"

Andy Williams, Wikipedia

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year!” I can still hear Andy William’s voice in my head as he sings this old classic.

And it is. The holidays can be a great time . . . except when it’s not. The stress, the strains of relationships, balancing work and family . . . it often is “the most stressful time of the year.”

So here are a few brief tips to help you, professionally and personally, get through it all.

Five Tips to Survive the Holidays

1. Control what you can. Focus on your “scheme”—what decisions you can make to get through this—not the “dream” that the hard things will suddenly be easy or go away. The pressure of a deadline, the demands of the end of the year at work and family obligations—the hard things will probably still be hard—but you can make decisions about how to manage them. Focus on what you can do not what is out of your control.

2. Create, or be, a boundary. A correlarry of #1 , , , many times stress comes from not being willing to create, sustain, and enforcing your own boundaries. Talking to the boss about having reasonable expectations, setting limits on the hours you work, or insisting that family members respect your choices isn’t easy. But creating clear, firm, yet flexible boundaries as needed can help manage stress in the long run. (See work post on Good Fences or family post on Reclaiming Relationships)

3. If you are overwhelmed, find ways to focus on grounding yourself in the present. The goal is to be in the “here and now” not the “then and there” of the past or future. Too often our “anxious brain” tries to sort out how to fix the past or the future while our “calm brain,” if we could access it, knows that there is nothing that we can do today to change either one. Being overwhelmed is a physiological state that can be moderated through practicing techniques that will allow better willingness to be in the present moment, accept all of your experience—positive and negative—and be more able to engage with the calm mind.

4. Create space. Again, this relates to the earlier items in terms of control and boundaries. The idea is to simply, slow down. Take a break. Do something that is only for resting and relaxing. The temptation is always there to work harder, skip lunch, take on one more thing . . . and many of us can do this and still perform well. But at what cost? When those that do not create space complete a project they “had to do” . . . do they feel satisfied? No. Often they simply move on and begin to feel the stress and anxiety of the next project. Creating space often, to their surprise, does not take away from what they accomplish and makes the effort more satisfying.

5. Focus on being grateful. Remember that much of the stress in our lives comes from the vary things that, from a different vantage point, are blessings. The stress of having a job rather than being unemployed. The demands of gift giving, hosting celebrations, the tensions or relationships, are experienced by those whose have been given “much” and who have important others in their lives to share it with during this season. Even in the midst of the toughest seasons of life,* there are things to be grateful for . . . if you will look for them.

Okay, I’ll stop there. Hope these five reminders help you this holiday season. I’ll end by wishing you, as Andy might have, the “hap- happiest season of all!”

* As an example, the year 1992 was my low. That year my younger brother was killed. I was approaching the holiday season with a significant amount of dread about what it would be like trying to “survive” it without him. While it was a hard season, I came through it realizing a couple of important lessons on gratitude. First, that the pain was in part because I had been blessed to have the relationship I enjoyed with my brother; and Second, having my wife, my children, and family around me, gave me plenty of opportunities to recognize the blessings I had even with the loss of my brother.

It's Halloween . . . and time to face the fears of 2020!

The locus of this fall’s fears . . . working with metal saws to build our new “hoop house.” (See below)

Halloween! So let’s talk about fear.

It’s Halloween. Or All-Hallows’-Eve if you prefer. Time for cute costumes, “haunted” houses, tricks, and a little good ‘ole fright. Public radio is playing spooky music (from Psycho) and reviewing the scariest movies. Parents are talking about their kid’s costume choices. All is abnormally normal. Maybe not exactly normal, after all, the Nationals won the World Series, but I digress.

I was on a video chat earlier this week with some professionals talking about contracting and consulting. I mentioned that I assumed when I started that other professionals were more comfortable than I was in acting as an entrepreneur and “putting themselves out there” doing marketing and sales, since I had no background in this area. But, it turns out, I was not that different from most professionals. Once again I was reminded of this as we talked as one prevalent theme I heard in the questions I was asked was . . . fear.

I told them that one of my biggest challenges when I started more than 20 years ago was getting through my own fears. Fear that I didn’t know enough yet, that I wouldn’t be able to find customers, that I would somehow fail. Building confidence, isn’t some big secret. But, somehow we believe the route to success is a lack of fear. No. Success isn’t convincing yourself that the fear is irrational—first, it’s not entirely irrational; and second, the part that is irrational—“catastrophic thinking”—can’t be fixed by reasoning. The person typically already knows that what they are facing is just fear and they themselves, and others as well, have already told them that their fear is irrational. What works is finding ways to successfully take reasonable “leaps of faith” and succeedi

Learning to Use the Saw

I use examples (like the metal chop saw above) to ask professionals I coach, what will make my fear of using this new, and potentially dangerous, tool diminish. Will it being reminding myself that I have used lots of other power tools? Being reassured that “it’s not that hard” and “I can do it?” Maybe watching You Tube videos of how to use the tool? Reading the manual?

All of these help, minimally. (Actually, reading the manual introduced new fears . . . like the blade cracking and flying apart) But these steps don’t drive away the fear. What does? Using the saw.

So, on this day of Goblins, Witches, and Fright, and as you prepare for 2020—embrace fear. Press forward. Focus on what comes after the fear (like the hoop house, see below) that will provide service and joy—not to mention revenue for my wife’s business—for many years.

Use what ever resources you need to help bolster your courage to take the next reasonable risk. In the end, it is highly likely that the benefits of your success will outweigh the terror of the moment.

Success! Here is one of the framed ends I built with the new saw. Kind of look forward to using it . . . now.

Why won't they let go? Fear in the Family Business

The term “death-trap” comes to mind when I see this . . . but maybe that’s just me. Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

A Personal Confession

Rollercoasters evoke fear for me. There, I admitted it. It's not that the action of the rollercoaster—speed, erupt changes in direction or height—cause me fear, they don’t, it's the notion that these mechanical wonders . . . are mechanically complex machines . . . and complex machines . . . break.

Having admitted my fear, now, maybe, you will understand why the idea of “having a good time,” in my world, does not involve strapping myself to one of these mechanical devices; indeed, it would take just the right motivation (force?) to get me to risk of becoming a passenger. You may also, having realized the basis of my fear, be able to reason with me that my fear is irrational, and perhaps even in a way that gets me to reconsider my fear. After all, I do fly on airplanes. Oh, and yes, I have ridden rollercoasters in the past.

But, in the future? Probably not. For me a rollercoaster ride it is a waste of time and money. There is no “up-side” for me. I don’t get a thrill from riding. There is no “fun.” I’m long past the age of doing something I don’t like just to prove to others—or myself—that I’m not afraid. The motivator is going to have to be pretty good to get me to change.

Fear . . . and Holding on

If you got me on a rollercoaster and you were an astute observer, you might notice my discomfort. Nervous conversation, keen observation of the attendant locking the bar . . . subtle clues to my fear. Fear makes us want to “hold on” to what ever object seems to promise to save us from the feared outcome. A child will clutch to the seat or the safety bar or the parent,. an adult may simply hold on nonchalantly as possible but give away their fear when they “stiffen” with anxiety as the car moves over the course.

This fear and the natural tendency to “hold on”, reminds me of struggles I see in leadership transitions and particularly in Family Businesses—where the senior generation is holding on to the business and the younger generation is anxious to take over the controls.

So let's talk about the pertinent question from the younger generation's point of view . . . 

Why won't they let go?  

Ever had to "take the keys away" from an aging parent? Not so easy. For my family it was prompted by a few minor “accidents” over the course of one year followed by our local mechanic telling us that he intervened when one of my parents left the vehicle “in gear” and “bouncing against the concrete barrier” at a local store. He opened the car door, stepped on the brake, and put the car in “park.” Obviously, it was time.

So, why won't they give those keys up? Especially given all the alternatives for transportation? Family members reassure them that they will be taken wherever they want to go. There are offers to pay for assistance. Uber, Lyft, and other services are readily available in some cases. Still, they don’t want to hand over the keys.

Once the transition is accomplished—voluntarily or not—the senior often complains, repeatedly, about the inconvenience of not having their independent transportation and may have to be reminded about the reasons the keys were handed over . . . repeatedly. But, too often this difficult transition is made even more difficult because we think this should be a simple transition based on a logical analysis of the risks, right? Well, for many, it’s not.

Photo by Laura Gariglio on Unsplash

It's a funny thing about humans . . . “Keys aren't just keys.” Those keys represent much more. The senior may see them as “my independence, my freedom, my way of not feeling like a burden to others, my way of helping” . . . there are deep emotional ties that make what seems like a simple exchange, become a complex path to navigate. John Gottman, a researcher at the University of Washington, coined the phrase “dreams within conflict” to describe how, at the root of conflict, there often is a dream that is being unrealized or threatened. Not realizing the threat to that dream makes the senior’s resistance irrational—and invites unfavorable judgements of “stubbornness, controlling, emotional, etc.”

For my mom, as an example, I think that giving up the keys meant that she would worry about being a “burden” to others—anathema to her self-sacrificing consideration of others—in depending on them for rides.

Turning over a business

Why won't the parent’s let go?  After more than two decades working intimately with families, I can sum it up in a word: Fear. (Leaders of all stripes are, too often, Managing by Fear . . . and family firms are no different. In fact, “close-systems”—such as family business where there are more emotional ties—are more likely to be affected by management by fear at critical points during their development!)

What fear? Fear that . . . 

• the change/transition will make things worse

• the transition will place a burden on their children

• their own value and self-worth will be lost

• spending more time with intimate relationships will make life more difficult

• the business itself will struggle or fail

• their departure as a leader will, some how, harm the family

• fear that leaving will expose some personal weaknesses

One of the barriers to moving beyond this transition point, is that people are not very insightful about what is motivating their family member’s actions. The aging parent may think, "They are making too big a deal about this!" or "They just want my car!" . . . and their defensiveness, often becomes the excuse to redirect themselves from their own fear. The children do the same. “They won’t ever let go!” or “They want to keep control!” hides fears of not being trusted, anxieties about performance, and other issues. But back to the parents . . .

Find the Dream . . . and Address the Fear

Tied to each of these “fears” is a dream. The senior’s dreams that the change will not make things worse for the family, the employees, or the business. That there will still be a valuable role that the parent can occupy within the family or children’s lives. That family relationships will improve or at least not be damaged in the transition. That the business will continue to grow and succeed.

Helping the parent with the transition includes a couple of important steps.

First, they may need help in recognizing and stating their underlying dreams—taking care to both acknowledge the ones tied to the business role and not neglecting dreams that are not connected to the business**—and recognizing that there may be inherent conflicts within the dreams. For example, the senior may want to travel more, have less stress or responsibility and at the same time want to be present to make sure the burden on the younger generation is not too great to handle.

Second, they may need a well-defined process of addressing the fears and supporting movement toward making risk/reward decisions . . . normalizing and challenging the fears—that can help them get “unstuck” and make the transition move forward.

This is not an easy process. Often, it takes time, careful persistence to address the issues. Trust building (yes, even between parents and children!) and the slow process of addressing, and lowering, fears so that changes can proceed naturally. At times, families simply can’t, won’t, or will want to decrease the risks of a negative outcome by engaging an outside entity to guide the process.

However it gets approached, trying to force someone to get past their fears (i.e.: Fear Factor style) is fraught with risks. There is no doubt that it can make things change, if successful, but too often it will heighten fears, create more resistance, and worst of all, create a traumatic event that may harm the relationships necessary to make a transition good for everyone.

**Often the younger generation will over emphasize the dreams not tied to the business as a means to leverage change. This often backfires. The senior sees this as the younger generation trying to “force them out” or manipulate because the dreams and fears tied to the business are minimized instead of being addressed.

Available eBooks:

Engaging Your Team: A framework for managing difficult people.

Family Legacy: Protecting family in family business.

Reclamation . . . Old Wood/New Wood; or Is that employee worth it?

I love the reclaimed depot wood we put on our cabinet ends. The picture doesn’t do it justice.

Leaders, like a builder, can choose to get new employees or work with the old ones. Employees with issues can be seen as disposable—out with the old and in with the new—or as valuable resources worth working toward reclamation.

A Change

I have found a new joy in reclaimed old wood. Old redwood to be precise. Redwood salvaged from a deck that provided the framework for a porch that had deteriorated over time. It surprises me a little bit—this joy of working with tis old wood—because I’ve always been favorably predisposed toward “new.” Maybe it’s my history of allergies. Maybe it’s laziness. But I always enjoyed building with new wood—from scratch if you will—rather than recycling something old . . . and often not being happy with the result. But now that’s all changed.

The destruction phase. If you look closely, you will see our Melodrama sign (to the extreme left) later in our shelving picture on the—mostly—completed porch.

The Wood

It started with a tear-down-and-rebuild project. We live in an old converted train deport. An amazing amalgam of construction. One hundred year old “bones” and newer additions make up the primary building. One of the features we loved was the “four-season porch” on the back. That porch, not in great shape when we bought the property—and poorly built originally—had deteriorated to the point that it needed to be torn off completely or rebuilt. Tear off and rebuilding . . . again not my favorite. But, it had to be done. The next couple of years, with the guidance and assistance of my contractor, consisted of working on weekends on this project, and after finishing the major work with the contractor, I am still working on the finishing touches as I write.

Redwood boards. Planed and ready to use for projects! You can see the discarded metal wagon box in the background. See the redwood wagon below!

The porch was built on top of a redwood deck. Well, it was partially built on a redwood deck. The builders had cobbled together a porch stoop (by the door to the right) and a deck (covering the rest of the porch)—which allowed the whole structure to settle unevenly—there was even a metal stand probing up one part!—and helped the general deterioration. We tore out the whole underlying structure, including the redwood, as part of our rebuild.

Now, if you aren’t into wood, you should know that it is expensive to buy redwood today. When I started building shelving from this wood, I priced new redwood to see how much it would cost to build one of the shelves and found that the wood, alone, would cost me close to $500 to buy new. Now that gets a guy’s attention and makes him look at the reclaimed wood in a totally new light!!

Here are some of the shelves and other Christmas projects—vase stand, and guitar neck rests. Notice the same sign in the background that was in the earlier tear-off picture. No floor yet. Finishing the walls first.

From the salvaged redwood I have built a few sets of shelves, a child’s wagon, a dozen or so guitar head rests (for changing strings), a bunch of guitar picks, one flower-vase frame, and a conductor’s baton case. Mostly these are for gifts, partly for fun. I could show you lots of pictures . . . but I’ll limit myself to one more, that should make the point.

Some of the smaller projects. Mostly the redwood. Some ebony, maple, too.

Leaders and People

All this . . . chaos? . . . effort? . . . history? . . . came to mind recently when a business owner, who was told about our process of helping organizations with their “people issues",” asked, “Why don’t they just fire them?” This sentiment, “just fire them,” sounded eerily like my attitude about wood. Just buy new wood! It’s easier. There are no problems to deal with . . . like there are with old wood. Old wood is too much trouble.

Some leaders see the world in much the same way. They would rather start over with a new employee than struggle to find a solution to their managerial problem. They minimize issues within their culture, system, or leadership that contribute to the problem. The propose superficial fixes and ultimately blame the employee for not changing. These decisions reveal the leader’s true values.

Yes, every leader has to face the fact that sometimes the only choice is to let someone go or do harm to the team or organization. But, as a leader, are you eager to adopt an “out with the old and in with the new” attitude?

I have worked with a few leaders who, a review of history or observation, revealed a pattern of employees passing through a “constant revolving door.” Rarely do these leaders see these decision as driven by their own ego or their behavior and that of the organization as the constant in this pattern. They don’t understand how lies that effect employees and leaders. Communication suffers along the way. They may struggle to see the value of mistakes in creating strong teams. They believe that failure is always bad. Other leaders see value in preserving the value of seasoned employees. They recognize that an investment in these employees may provide a superior long-term benefit.

Yes, working with the “old wood” means you have to engage with the wood in a more rigorous manner . . . trim some damaged wood away. You have to pull nails out of the boards so you don’t ruin a set of planing knives. You will make more cuts to find the solid, usable part of the boards and to reveal the pretty original grain. Finally, you will also have more cut-offs to discard.

Seven Reasons Leaders Should Focus on Retaining Employees

But there are good reasons not to start over with new wood . . . or a new employee.

1. New wood isn’t the same as old wood. Anyone who has been building for more than 20 years knows that the wood you buy today at the big box stores isn’t the same quality as old wood. Fast-growth, sap-wood, poorly dried, cheap lumber dominate the industry. Old wood has dimensional stability, strong grain, color, hardness, and character.

   In most circumstances, employees also gain value over time. They have institutional knowledge, they have experience with the trials and errors of the past. They have awareness of what it was like before the product was available. They have relationships with coworkers, vendors, and customers. Finally, successfully “reclaimed” employees can become the biggest champions of the organization and leadership.

2. There is a cost . . .to buying new. My father-in-law continues to “whittle-away” at a big block of Desert Ironwood from Mexico that he bought years ago for a little over $100. That one log has been part of projects for more than 20 years. Today, a 3/8" thick, 1.75" wide, 5" large stick will cost $12-15 plus shipping . . . if you can get it at all. A log like my father-in-law’s would run close to $1,000.

   Those who study business also talk about the high cost of employee turnover in organizations. The impact on “onboarding,” training, and other “real costs” may be secondary to the impact on the culture, morale, leadership trust, and other “soft factors” that, while critical to success, are less frequently measured. The big problem is, most leaders don’t have an easy cost comparison when deciding if firing an employee is in the best interests of the organization and many minimize the impact on the culture of the team—especially if this is perceived to be a pattern of the management.

3. The old wood has a unique attractiveness —because it’s old wood. Part of the beauty of working with this old wood is the blemishes . . . the nail-holes, checked areas, and uneven coloring. It leeks “used,” but when the wood is cleaned up, trimmed, planed, sanded, and finished, it is more beautiful that a more “perfect” new board.

   “Reclaimed” employees can have this save value. When we do interviews in an organization we typically take a plant tour. We request a guide—an employee who is not a “company ‘Yes!’ person” but who is also not the company critic. When leaders guide us to the right employee for this guidance . . . often someone with a reclamation story about the company . . . other employees’ trust in that individual helps us get very honest information about whatever issues we are seeking. The “stability” of this employee (see below) promotes trust and creates the opportunity for an open dialogue that is priceless to the organization. Other employees see the value in this employee and trust their reliability, know their past history, and see the openness about the organizations past challenges . . . and their faith in the leadership.

4. Old wood has known attributes where new wood has unknowns. Once again, old wood is far from perfect. But, you do know what you are likely to encounter in working with the wood. That’s worth something. New wood may have a high moisture content and tend to cup, warp, or crack. Old wood, once reclaimed will remain true to form, stable, and increase its value. New wood is an unknown. It may age and become cherished old wood or it may warp, crack, or fail.

   As we noted above, a reclaimed employee, in the same way is a “known” commodity. Other employees develop a respect for the employee that has come through challenges to remain a part of the organization. They trust someone who they know has not always “had it together” and see themselves in the real story of that employee. They note the optimism and faith the employee chooses to place in leadership despite the past. A new employee may have those traits, but it is an unknown risk at the time they are hired.

5. There is a unique satisfaction to reclaiming old wood. Sustainabllity, history, value, reduction of waste, or character and beauty . . . there are many reasons that reclaiming old wood is satisfying. In the same way, there is nothing like developing, challenging, and supporting employees to be their very best . . . and then seeing that benefit the team or organization.

   Many leaders are, in fact, very open to the idea of trying to “reclaim” employees. There are several challenges however that can make this fail. This, in itself, could be it’s own post, for our purposes, suffice it to say that a poor understanding of human behavior, a weak commitment to reclamation, a lack of consistent attention over time, fear that it will fail, poor communication or planning . . . these are but a few reasons that it may not succeed without a clearly implemented and monitored plan.

6. Developing a love of old wood opens up new possibilities. Living in an old Depot was daunting at first. The prospect of reclaiming a structure that had been turned into apartments—with it’s three kitchens and six bathrooms—did not sound like fun. But, tearing out the old porch, finding the redwood, and beginning to use this resource has created possibilities where none existed before. The cabinet ends pictured at the top for example. These boards were, in my estimation, a merely a nuisance, piled up in the attic . . . old, dusty brown boards that I was going to have to deal with at some point. Now, after several layers have been stripped, the boards planed down into quarter inch panels, the rotten parts cut away . . . they are a real center point of our remodel.

   In the same way, I have seen leaders that were burned out, dreading coming to work, contemplating leaving their position, who after working through a process of reclamation, were, once again, energized, excited about the next challenge, feeling more optimistic about their role and the organization. As the saying goes, “Success breeds success.”

7. Working with old wood changes the woodworker. Maybe it’s obvious. The old wood/new wood dichotomy is not new. What has changed is me. Once the woodworker opens him or herself up to using old wood, the world begins to change. Board piles are interesting, seeking out businesses that reclaim wood becomes a passion, helping to tear-down old properties becomes a treasure-field to explore. One sees the cheap woods of modern building. There rekindles a joy in the old, the weathered, the sturdy.

   One of the best reasons to be inclined, first, toward reclamation when it comes to employees is that it changes the leader. (A good reason to try and “reclaim” leaders as well! Because they can be more valuable.) No, a desire to focus on reclamation will never preclude firing a bad employee. We have mentioned several times that not all the old wood was kept . . . the bad parts of the board were cut off and discarded . . . the point here is that by taking a positive view toward reclaiming the old many boards can be salvaged, materials have a longer sustainable life, and the leader becomes a more functional, well-rounded, and energized leader.

They put the wagon to immediate use! But it’s not about the wagon, is it? People . . . that’s what it is all about!

Nine Signs You are a Normal Therapist . . . and encouragement to break the mold.

Image: villagehat.com

In the BBC hit series, Sherlock, the protagonist, Mr. Sherlock Holmes, characteristically known by his unusual double-billed hat called a “deerstalker,” given to him by his faithful Dr. Watson, describes himself as a “consulting detective.” Further, he also describes his nemesis, James Moriarty, in similar fashion, as a “consulting criminal.” This description, of an external expert as consultant, is something we need. In the profession of mental health, we need more “consulting experts” and fewer “normal therapists.” Consulting experts . . . ready to use their knowledge and skills to assist in all kinds of venues. Medical, legal, business, government, education. Here’s why.

I’ve been a professional therapist for over 35 years. I don’t consider my journey within the profession to be that remarkable or different from the “average” or “normal” therapist. Where it has been different, has been in the things I have done outside the “normal” parameters. In working with manufacturing companies, with family-businesses, non-profit organizations, and others.

Being a “normal therapist” myself, I’ve also supervised, administered, trained, and taught hundreds of other normal therapists over the years, and . . .

Let me be blunt . . . there are a lot of things about being “normal” that, over time, will drastically increase the risk—the risk of practicing in a manner that will undermine the therapist’s life and career. Over time, doing significant damage if not understood, addressed, and overcome.

What do I mean? Well, let me tell you. I mean that I have cringed as I have heard too many therapists, often nearing the end of their careers, that don’t have good retirement savings, do not take off quality time from their practices (some skip vacations and have not had a quality vacations for years), are not in a position to financially help their children or families and who are burned out, tired, and, sometimes, defeated by the very career they chose to support and sustain them and their families.

From a business/career stand point, the normal therapist is often their own worst problem. Let me lay it out for you . . .

Nine signs of the normal therapist:

• Believes that working for an organization is safer than working for themselves. Ah the benefits! Salary, insurance, paid time off, training budget . . . there are several aspects of working for an organization that appear to make it the safe choice. But is it? It feels like it until the the layoffs, down-sizing, closings happen. Most businesses, even Fortune 500 firms, don’t last more than about a couple generations. It’s just not as safe as you think.

• Thinks that the most reliable way to get paid is to be dependent upon insurance reimbursements. I hear many talking about wanting to get away from insurance but most, even the experienced, see insurance as a reliable source of revenue. Okay, sure, it is. But, organizations—who provide coverage for your clients— change insurance providers. Reimbursement rates are dropped. Getting paneled becomes more limited. You either spend time chasing the payments or pay someone to chase them for you. Is this really the most reliable form of income? For me, the answer is, “No!” Contracts, several that have laster more tan 12 years in my case are far more reliable. Negotiated rates with organizations that appreciate the value you offer is far different than the insurance panels trying to minimize costs.

• Worries that peers, or others, may think they are driven by a desire for money. Occasionally I wonder if the worst thing you could say to a “helping professional” is that they seem to be “interested in being financially successful.” Most deny this by quickly pointing to other priorities for their work. But, just because it is not their primary goal, does it mean that they don’t want to be financially successful. In most cases, “No.” However, they are uncomfortable acknowledging this. They constantly make sure that peers know, and will not judge them, by downplaying and insisting their focus is not on money.

• Are willing to trade time for vague benefits. They are wooed by vague benefits to their own career and live based on hopes reaping “marketing benefits,” unplanned “giving back” to the community or profession, and “just a good experience. They accepting being on call, providing free phone support, writing letters, and other tasks without much, if any, benefit to their business. I’m not suggesting that none of these things should happen—circumstance dependent, any and all of these may be appropriate or necessary; my point is, that the normal therapist simply does this, and accepts doing it, because it has been the standard practice historically.

• Makes excuses about the unsavory elements of their career rather than working to change them. Long term complaints about hating paperwork, insurance, no shows, without taking assertive steps to remove those things from their business life. Most will simply accept these things as part of the profession rather than re-examining their utility in today’s environment or seek other forms of practice that minimize or eliminate some of these elements.

• Constantly seeks to reassure themselves that they are competent. I hate to say it, but a majority of normal therapists have a lot of self-doubt. Just like the college student taking Psych 101 and wondering if the symptoms described in class men that they have a certain diagnosis, therapists, perhaps due to the personal intensity of their studies or primal interest, often give marquee attention to their weaknesses or deficits rather than their strengths. Few feel confident that they “know enough” or are an “expert” beyond a narrow and specifically trained knowledge base and skill-set. Yet, in truth, their life-experiences, knowledge, and training make their utility much more broad then they imagine.

• Doesn’t take risks, even small ones, that could provide significant improvements in their career. You’ve probably heard the old joke, “How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb?*” How about the correlary, “How many therapists . . . will change.” Therapists tend to play it safe. Leaps of faith for the sake of their career are rare. This includes wisely spending money to increase the likelihood of progressing in their careers. So, they go to mediocre trainings, don’t pay for supervision to gain expertise, do not spend money to learn new processes or products that could make their practice stand out and separate them from other providers.

• Follows the rules. While their are pioneers in our field, out there breaking new ground, as a group, therapists are prone to follow the “tried and true” of that the profession has dictated health care “is.” There are few “disrupters” or “contrarians” as a rule in the group and thus not much innovation. Tendencies run more toward “am I doing it right?” and against, “could it be done better?”

• Feels victimized by outside sources. Let’s face it colleagues. We often “play the victim.” Whether it is society, insurance companies, culture, history, etc. there is often a stain of helplessness norms in our thinking. These professionals, among the highest educated and trained people in the world, feel trapped and powerless by forces outside their control. We may seek to liberate others from the forces that we fear may be in fact constricting our own trajectory.

Professionals that stay trapped in this normative mindset may have an adequate, or even good, careers. Many do. They will, however, be subject to operating within the confines of the health care system and their own perceived limitation of their profession. The tragedy of this is that their are no “consulting therapists” in daycare centers, oncology offices, pediatrician practices, legal firms, or on family business boards—among many other places where they could provide significant benefits. More sadly, most professionals have never even asked themselves the question, “Could they benefit from my consulting?” Thus, the inquiry is never made. No discussions take place. No services are defined or contracts completed . . . and no help is available.

Do you see these signs in our profession? How does it affect the careers of your colleagues? How many of the nine traits influence your thinking?

As a profession, we need to focus on becoming more entreprenurial, taking a broad view of our capabilities, and turning those into non-traditional areas that could use our help. IN as sense, we need to see our selves as “consulting professionals” and not just therapists. Are you ready? If so, grab your “deerstalker” and let’s go. The game is afoot, dear Watson.

Ready to be abnormal? Share our post, make a comment, or more than one, and include in your comments how you shared the post, and you will be entered in a drawing for a digital copy of our book Beyond the Couch: Turning your behavioral health degree into cash without losing your soul and other prizes. To encourage comments, we will give away one copy of the book for every 10 comments. So, even if you already have it, or are not interested in the book for yourself, you can tell us who you’d like to give to or we will give it away for you!

*So, how many therapists does it take to change a light build? “Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change.”

I'm a fanatic . . . about culture . . . but it better be real!

Yep, I could be that guy! I’m that far gone . . . . Photo by Martin Reisch on Unsplash

I admit it. I’m a fanatic. No not a ranting, in your face, zealot. I’m from the midwest after all. Our zeal is a little more tempered. Stoic. Nice. That reminds me, our state once thought the best tourism tag line for our state was to promote this . . . “Nebraska, nice.” Ugh. Doubt it helped much. Anyway, back to me, the fanatic. I bear all the hallmarks of being a “true believer,” I have the gear, I study carefully everything about my passion, I’m drawn to others who share a similar love for the object of my obsession, I’ve done it all . . . except the tattoo. But then again, I’m from a different generation and, again, midwestern.

So, what is it that I am fanatical about? Well . . ., before I tell you and some of you sign off—concluding that your passion is not mine, and thus irrelevant—let me say, this post is not about the object of my fan-dom (fan-dumb?) but about the power of culture You see, the entity upon which my interest is focus is, right now, not worthy of such devotion. Ouch. It hurts to even admit that, I’m such a homer when it comes to college football.

The truth is the truth however and it is undeniable that my beloved team—the Nebraska Cornhusker football team, or “the Huskers” for short—has been awful. Last year? 4-8. The year before? 4-8. Dismal. Yet, this team has a top 15 recruiting class this year. They have been projected to finish in the top 20 by a number of prognosticians. Enthusiasm is high among the fans. Hope is abundant. What gives? Well a change in leadership but perhaps even more importantly the establishment of a new culture.

You can feel it. In the way the players talk, in the way they play, in their belief in the team and coaches and their willingness to voluntarily commit their discretionary effort to the team’s goals. Just watch their body language. A few years ago, under a different coaching regime . . . we won’t name names, I saw players on the side lines with their heads down, looking away or even pushing past . . . and thus avoiding . . . coaches who were trying to talk to them. It was not surprising when, over time, they began to look like they weren’t united in trying to win and the results began to mirror that disconnect. My observations were confirmed when a friend, and former division I quarterback, made the same observation, “You can tell they don’t want to play for this coach,” he said, “Just look at how they act when they come off the field.” Finally, someone close to the program also stated it. “They lost faith in the coach.”

So what has given this new culture its legs? Not success . . . not yet. Unless it’s the reputation of past success which these leaders have or the progress being made. But, success in the present? No. The team started out 0-6. The first time in the history of the program. Amazingly, the team continued to fight. They appeared to improve over the course of the season. They fought no matter what the circumstances and even looked better when they lost. It was clear that they “had each other’s back” and the team was, in fact, a Team. Having played both for teams that were not united or had a successful culture as well as teams that were very high functioning (including a national coach of the year) here are a few observations (from an outsider’s view) of what has made this work.

1. The leaders have a deep understanding of—and deep connection with —the broader context of the program and how to utilize the context to promote success. The Coach grew up in Nebraska. Population 1,325. The “Walk On Program” here at Nebraska—the recruiting of local kids—is at least as important as the getting the “blue-chippers”—highly ranked recruits— in the context of Nebraska football. He gets this. He praises the fans and the culture as being “like no other” and highlights its strengths—joking about how “blue-chippers” think they’ll see a football stadium in the “middle of a corn field.” Early cohorts talked about valuing the walk on program but in practice . . . they didn’t get it.

2. The leaders demonstrate a commitment to one thing—success. I hear statements like, “We are going to be good.” or “ We’ll see if he can contribute.” Even doubts, “Some may not be with the program” It’s clear that the goal is the focus and they believe reaching for that goal will help everyone who buys in. You could call it the “while no one is an ‘expendable crewman’ . . . some are more expendable than others.” But the message is clear. This is about being successful as a team. You can “get on board” or not but it is the single clear focus of the program.

3. Hard work is the route to success. How do you go from 4-8 two years in a row to the 13th ranked recruiting class? Hard work. Weight training. Husker Power. Strength Coach Zach Duvall. The coaches have not shied away from saying that players were not where they needed to be. In fact after the final game to our Iowa neighbors, the coach said it hurt to see that they were bigger and stronger than we were. How’s that for honest clarity? Yes, the coaches are careful to allow that there are many paths to success (that other coaches may have tried) and that previous coaches may have had a different focus and emphasis, but it’s clear that the team did not meet their criteria for strength, speed, and commitment. It’s also clear that anyone wanting to be a part will dedicate themselves to these attributes.

4. Finally, over everything else, the emphasis is on people. The clear message—and one that resonates as not just being "coach-speak”—is that this is about the players. Helping them become better men. Developing their potential. Becoming a close-knit group and having fun together. Yes, fun. In fused in everything is this belief that hard work, dedication, team chemistry, and success is fun and worth the effort. The mission is not just winning on the field it’s being successful as a person.

In Coach Frost’s own words . . .

As I was writing this blog, an Omaha World Herald article by Sam McKewon came out where Coach Frost talked about the importance of culture. Here’s part of what Frost was quoted as saying . . . “Culture eats scheme for breakfast . . . I can put the guys in the best scheme, the best offensive plays, the best defensive plays we can come up with. But at the end of the day, if we don’t have . . . people holding each other accountable, and we don’t have our team making smart decisions and grinding and working hard, [i.e.; the right culture] I’m not sure the best scheme in the world matters.”

Frost boils it down to two factors, 1. players making decisions in the best interests of their teammates, and 2. a desire to excel and no fear of failure.

Will this, ultimately, lead to the success the coaches want? If we’re talking wins . . . it’s unknown. In fact, due to the variables at play in such an endeavor it could be argued that their is no way to determine what causal factors lead to success on the field. Fair enough. But if you just look at the players behavior, other on and off the field, you can already see a clear and vital difference. It’s clear that this focus on culture has brought a new energy, a willingness to commit voluntary effort to succeeding, and cleared aways a number of hurdles that were detrimental to success. A strong culture, at the very least, increases the likelihood that success is possible—in athletics and in business.

P.S. I was told by someone who worked with transportation for recent Husker teams would leave the bus “trashed” when they got done with a trip. Not anymore. The Coaches, from the first, made players clean up after themselves and appreciate the service they were being given. Coaches talk about representing the state, university, and each other. The message is clear—even in this minor detail, “We will treat people, including ourselves, with respect.” Sometimes it starts that small to build a great culture.

Mr. Rex and Ego?

Photo by Vern Ooi on Unsplash

The Best Team Players? They know It's not about them.

Those of you who participated in athletics know that, as an athlete, you get to experience a lot of real time "psychology on display through behavior" as player's egos become involved in competing. Hopefully, for most people, the need to "stroke one's ego" gets resolved by the time we reach adulthood . . . but not always.

A few yeas ago I was playing "noon basketball" with a cadre of guys at a local gym. One of the amazing things about this group was that two of the most talented players were over 70!  Yes, 70! By "most talented" I don't mean that they had the most stamina, speed, or leaping ability when compared to the younger players,  but boy did they have skills and the experience to be a great asset to whatever team they played for.!  Both still played on traveling teams against player across the nation. Very impressive.

One of the players, I particularly liked. He was very laid back, competitive, yet encouraging to other players--a guy who was confident enough to play well himself and encourage the best out of others, both those on his team and the opponents as well, a real team-player. The other? Let's just say . . . that it didn't take a Psychologist to tell that his game was a little bit more about stroking his ego than just having fun competing--not that ego doesn't play a role for most of us at some level, some people just hide it more reliably. :)  Anyway . . . let's talk about .

The Day The Ego Demanded "it's Due!"

We were playing one day, as usual, when a new player joined us. His assignment was to guard Rex. Now, a new player, especially a younger one, would have no reason to believe that this would be a difficult task. After all, this is your grandfather--someone your should be able to outmaneuver, out jump, and out hustle. But Rex was an athlete, with a capital A. He could make shots all over the floor and from "way downtown"--far distant from the basket.

His favorite shot was a hook-type delivery off a drive to his right. Those of us who had played with Rex for a long time knew that the best strategy was to overplay his right side, and force him to go left where, although still capable, he was far less dangerous and effective. It was common knowledge and everyone who defended him more than once knew this.

The new player who joined us that day, however, didn't know this. As he tried to guard Rex, this septuagenarian shark, repeatedly drove right and drained the basket . . . time after time . . . scoring easily and, I think, frustrating the younger man's increasingly strenuous attempts to stop his scoring. Finally, the younger man, once again, beaten to the delivery of the shot, exclaimed, "Rex, you are unstoppable!" Rex beamed. But, unfortunately for Rex, the moment didn't last. 

Another player, let's call him Doug, who was known for his less-than-sensitive-candor, impulsively reacted. "It's not hard to stop Rex," he commented dourly.  "That's easy. He can't go to his left."  A statement, that over-simplified guarding this athlete, but never-the-less did communicate the best approach to stopping Rex's game. An awkward silence hung in the air, as players absorbed this Doug's "attack" on Rex's abilities and demonstrated Doug's own need to stroke his ego "against" a player, in Rex, that definitely had superior skills. Some glancing at Rex, uncomfortably, and wondering how Rex would respond.

Well, Rex wasn't one to let such blatant disrespect to pass. He said nothing, at first. I was surprised, but remained watchful.  The next time Rex's team had the ball, Rex, playing point guard, took the ball, drove to his left, executed his signature hook shot, banking it into the basket off the backboard, the pointedly directed a comment to Doug, "So, I can't go left huh?"

Flashes of Junior High School

"What is this, Junior High School?" The thought flashed through my mind.

So, Rex proved he could go left. Doug was "put into his place," and Rex's ego could remain intact--although why it was threatened so much by the comment remains unknown. Or so it seemed for a moment. Doug, unfortunately, didn't have the wisdom to let it go either, and the rest of "noon ball" was marred by a general pensive, irritation punctuated with some general aggressive playing and "bad will."

The funny thing is, for all the posturing egos on display, that day . . . nothing had really changed. We all still knew that the best strategy, when guarding Rex, was to force Rex to go left. No one thought less of him as a player, since all players have strengths and weaknesses to their game. And we were all sure that Doug would continue to comment on things that others would think but definitely not say. While Doug would rush in to fill the void. We also knew that Doug, no matter how long he played--would he even be playing in another 30 years?--would never be as good as Rex.

What did change was that it was clear that Rex's ego was tied up in his ability as an athlete (and so was Doug's, but that's another story) and that Rex would get defensive, react with somewhat controlled anger, if challenged . . . and this trait, could be turned against him, by unscrupulous opponents. That Doug, or others, could easily "get under his skin" with just a comment despite the fact that he was a great player. I can imagine some competitors I have played against in competitive venues, making comments,  "What's the matter, can't you go left?" and goading him into "proving them wrong" ---thereby taking him out of his best game and using his emotion against him—and disadvantaging his team.

Ego vs. Team

When Doug made his comment, and Rex visibly reacted, my intuition and experience told me that Rex would have to prove himself by forcing the next shot . . . going left. He did, and it worked, he made the basket. But what if that had not been in a "pick up game" but in a game that counted for something. Was that the right time and place to take the shot?  Maybe. Would a defender, as I did, anticipate his need to go left and position himself to block or alter the shot.  Possibly. But ego doesn't consider what is best for the team only what is demanded to keep the ego intact. 

Rex, it appears, didn't trust the team. He didn't believe that that everyone already saw him as a superior player--even if they recognized that he preferred shooting going to his right. He probably was fearful that others would "believe" John's view or that perhaps it would make it harder if the young man guarding him forced him to operate going left. Some subconscious fear drove his need to respond. Ultimately, however it was driven by his own fears about himself and his ability.

Another ego and it's effect . . . a starter on one of my high school teams "lost it" when his shoe came untied and the coach didn't call a time out to let him fix the problem. He responded by kicking his shoe off, sending it flying over the bench, and starting to hack (foul) other players. He fouled out of the game in the first quarter. I have never seen such a ego-driven temper tantrum quite like it before or since. Playing the rest of the game without our number one point guard and a great shooter certainly did not help the team and we lost the game.  Those whose ego strength, to continue the use the Freudian term, isn't sufficiently strong will not be able to laugh at themselves, apologize, admit mistakes, or put the team first.  They may be very talent and accomplished but, in some fashion or another, they will always be a one man show.

Leaders, Employees and Ego

When consulting with organizations you inevitably will run into people whose ego is a barrier to them being the best leader they can be. Whether as an employee or a boss, their fragile self-worth will manifest itself in defensiveness, rejection of valid criticism, and a stubborn refusal to examine mistakes and learn from them.  Often, these are very bright and accomplished people who has skillfully found ways to mitigate some of the negative effects--perhaps they are superficially charming, or hard working, or they maintain and aloof distance--but, like Rex, everyone knows of the ego-weakness and how it effects their work and the organization as a whole.

Attempts to point out the weakness results, again like Rex in the story, in them proving (at least to themselves) that the have a strong ego and the problem is not them but is the problem of the person pointing out the impact of their behavior.  

You can spot this trait often when a person "flip-flops" on responsibility when they can no long dismiss it. So, if problems are pointed out by another colleague or employee this person may simply dismiss it, or aggressively refute it. But if the problems amplify to the point the behavior is threatening the organization and they are forced to face their behaviors . . . the "Ego-challenged" person will admit a problem, superficially take responsibility for it, perhaps even apologize (if necessary) and verbally agree to a need to change.

But watched closely, and over time, they will reverse course . . . reverting back to their baseline, ego-protecting view, that "the problem isn't me."  When this happens, you can be sure that you are dealing with someone who, to reach their full potential, has a need for significant work on the ability to take constructive criticism, be self-critical, and learn to grow.  In Patrick Lencioni's words They suffer a lack of humility . . . thinking, albeit somewhat subconsciously, more about themselves that the good of the organization. In those moments it is, once again, all about them.

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The Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything . . .

Photo by Tbel Abuseridze on Unsplash

Douglas Adam's fans who are familiar with The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy know that a group of hyper-intelligent beings demanded to learn the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything from the supercomputer, Deep Through. It takes 7½ million years for Deep Thought to compute and check the answer, which turns out to be . . . 42. Deep Thought points out that the answer seems meaningless  . . . because the beings who provided the query never actually knew what the Question was.

But we do. The Questions is, What is meaning of 42?"  Well, it turns out that 42 is the approximate number of the beans it takes to make one shot of coffee. Thus the Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything . . . is coffee.  Makes sense. At least to me.

So, fill up your cup and enjoy . . .